HOW I OVERCAME SECRET SINS

Hi friend,

Thank you for being a part of this. Welcome to living with the vine! I want to remind you of how much God loves you and that nothing can separate you from the love of God. Heads up this is a long read, take your time and read when it is convenient. This post would be of great help to you if you wish to grow out of any form of addiction or secret sin. It can also help identify what may be hindering your relationship with God. It helped me and I pray it helps you too. 

Secret sins are one of the toughest things to admit most of us have. I see secret sins as bad habits that grow over a long period of time and are usually difficult to stop. It’s called a secret because we never really open up about them. Most times we don’t know how to ask for help and it’s almost like there’s no way out of it. It usually influences our self worth, relationships and growth as believers. I struggled with admitting I had secret sins all my life. One of the secret sins I struggled with was watching pornography which usually led to masturbation. In as much as the act is being normalized, I admit that it affected me mentally, physically and spiritually. I classify masturbation and pornography as a sin because they do not glorify God and anything that does not glorify God hinders your relationship with Him.

It’s a habit that cut me off from God for a long time.  The major issue I had was that I didn’t know how to confront it because I had let it grow so much. I was also very comfortable with the fact that a lot of people embraced it. It gave me so much confidence to keep up with it. I can remember anytime I had done it the positive effect was either very pleasurable or reliefs me from stress. It's pleasurable effect and stress relief benefits does not take out the fact that it is addictive and could be harmful. The negative effect on the other hand was that I either regret doing it or it affects my whole mood. Masturbation, if not tackled leads to addiction that is usually hard to stop and a deeper desire to explore more and on the long run becomes harmful. Deep down, I knew it was not healthy for me and that I needed to stop. I heard so many solutions like not staying in a room alone but then how do I want to keep up with that forever?

There are loads of solutions on the internet but none of that worked for me. What worked for me required a lot of intentional steps, patience and support from God. The major problem with masturbation is that it manipulates the mind, it is addictive and it does not glorify God. If you struggle with any other form of addiction that is different from mine, you can internalize these actions to work for you as well. So, I’ll detail my action points below and I pray this helps anyone in need.

• Total dependency on God. I had to admit I couldn’t do it on my own and that man-made solutions weren’t going to work either. I realized God had to intervene and not just on the secret sin alone but in every area of my life. When I became born again, the Holy Spirit literally helped me through it. But regardless, I had to put my faith to work and I believed I could get over it. If I was relaxed even after being born again, trust me I wouldn’t have seen results.
• I had to accept the fact that it was an internal flaw and that if I ever wanted to change, it had to start from within. My mind, my heart and my soul were influenced by this act so whatever I’m focusing or feeding my mind on mattered a whole lot. So, I identified possible triggers and personally, Twitter was a major factor. I stayed away for a long time. I turned to studying the word of God more and in studying the word, I prayed so much for understanding and clarity and it helped greatly. The key point is to identify your triggers and intentionally stay away from them and replace them with either studying the bible or books that can help you grow spiritually, mentally and physically. 
• I was mindful of the type of conversations I had with people. I couldn’t afford to involve myself in conversations that’ll trigger those desires. Most people thought I was overdoing it but overdoing it helped me overcome it. Boundaries are healthy for growth especially when there is a set goal.
• The genre of songs I listened to had to change. I needed my mind to be free from obscene and corrupt thoughts so I had to switch up to full time gospel songs. I had to stop listening to provocative and less edifying songs. I really love songs by Sinach, Dunsin Oyekan, Nathaniel Bassey and other amazing artists.
• I had to surround myself with the word of God and other Christian books. I studied devotionals relating to overcoming masturbation and pornography on the YouVersion bible. There are so many great devotionals on YouVersion that can help with any form of addiction. I listened to a lot of spiritual leaders who taught on overcoming addictions; the likes of late Dr. Myles Munroe. 
• I had a serious accountability partner. I admitted to her I needed help and whenever I was tempted to fall, I always seek her guidance. She was a great help and I really appreciate her. So, if you have anyone you trust and willing to support you it's also very helpful.
• All the above action points helped my self control. One of the fruits of the spirit is self control and the action points were seeds sown to build my self control. Through this I have been able to discipline my mind from thinking about porn and masturbation.

It is a process that requires a lot of discipline. I took these gradual processes to heart and one day, I found out I didn’t have interest in watching porn or masturbating anymore. Although, I call it a miracle because I thought I would never stop. Another good thing about adopting the process is that it became a part of me. Asides the secret sins, there are still other temptations that come around and the process is still very helpful. I’m sure these points can also help with other form of addictions. If you ever feel like you are held down by any addiction, please know God is still very much involved in helping people. I am not very special, but I found grace so if I can overcome, you can overcome. You need to put your faith into it, it’s very key. The only way your faith can grow is studying the word of God continuously. The process may seem very difficult and stressful but nothing good comes easy. You take it a step at a time and eventually you will see results. I pray God will see you through.

These steps were possible because I was born again and I relied so much on God. If you are willing to accept Jesus's sacrifice on the cross you need to declare with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him up from the dead (Romans 10 vs 9 -10). 

Please share with anyone who may be interested. If you have any suggestions, please be kind enough to share in the comment section. If you have further questions, please you can send a mail to livingwiththevine@gmail.com or you can share in the comment section. 

God loves you.

With love,

Zoe.